I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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