I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
