I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
