i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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