I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
