need another drink. this is the easiest way
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
