i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize