I am puke
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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