Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
