just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
