just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
