His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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