69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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