So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
