id be glad to
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
