Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
and she was petting her beer can
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
