it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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