I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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