I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize