my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
