i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
