I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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