the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize