what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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