I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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