This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
