I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
