"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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