The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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