after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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