dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
