What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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