I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
