this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
