She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
