Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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