She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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