I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
