I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
