I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
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For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
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After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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