it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
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He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
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my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.