I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
