I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
