Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
