Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
