dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
