Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize