What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
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So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
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If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.