I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
A+ Viking dick
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you