Soap is not a condiment
what if I'm pregnant?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm