So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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