i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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