We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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