Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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