I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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