I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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