So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize