I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
