If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
it was like eating out sand paper
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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