This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize