Do vagina's smell?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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