We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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